太快的八個月

一年前我仲大住個肚等運到, 眨下眼個女都八個月大. 每日都時間緊逼, 無機會slow down去紀錄生活既一點一滴. 因為大部份時間都係成盆水倒落黎, 反應得黎掛住透大淡氣又另一盆淋過黎. 今日終於都的起心肝, 希望可以寫返一篇summary!

- 生bb唔辛苦, 因為我係c-section. 阿女太肥, 唔肯掉轉頭, 所以要夾硬開刀拎佢出黎, 唔係佢晌我個肚入面有排坐.
- 生完bb都唔辛苦. 傷口雖然痛, 但係都頂得住. 最唔鍾意反而係無啦啦就可以喊到眼淚有成條河咁多... 呢個係我預算唔到.
- 餵人奶開頭好辛苦, 無又煩, 有又煩, 唔夠又煩. 不過捱左幾個星期之後都好順利. 只係半夜好似個zombie咁開唔到隻眼就抱個bb食奶奶... 試過訓著覺差幾乎流埋滴口水落阿b塊面到, 好在索得快.
- 阿女都算係咁, 十個禮拜就自己戒其中一餐夜奶. 十二個禮拜就瞓過夜. 等阿媽返工無咁辛苦.
- 阿女兩個月大就將佢搬入佢自己房晌自己張床仔度瞓... 一d問題都無.
- 仲記得有一排阿女餐餐痾屎都好似準備打丈咁,因為唔想同佢由頭換到落腳. 佢次次都痾到上背脊. 有次同佢去超級市場, 買完野諗住同佢食埋支奶先返屋企, 點知佢決定要痾... 真係攪到好"leh hea".
- 阿女怕公公, 唔知幾時開始, 見到公公會喊. 而家唔喊, 不過唔俾公公抱. (其實大部份人佢都唔俾抱...)
- 五個半月開始俾佢食baby food. 呢個為食妹, 俾咩都食. 但係有陣時佢會唔肯晌dinner果餐食水果baby food, 要食菜頪... 真係唔係好知佢係咪真係識得分!
- 六個月左右先開始識轉半身. 不過我絕對無complaint. 太早成日轉身換片時好麻煩.
- 七個月就坐得非常穩陣, 唔駛你幫!
- 八個月大學緊"前進". 未識爬, 不過識得"ugg"
- bb 時沖涼會握緊拳頭, 而家沖涼開心到你同佢上水佢會鬧你...
- 六個半月時開始同佢學自己瞓覺. 開頭喊左兩日就無再喊. 不過一病就唔得, 因為唔舒服. 佢而家夜晚八點瞓到第朝八點, 都算係咁喇.
- 返day care唔好處係多病. 由三個月大開始, 每個月病一次. 開頭有發少少燒, 而家多數都只係傷風流鼻水, 最難收既係成咳. 好慘!


寫住咁多先... 諗到先再加!

我唔需要你幫

食lunch既時候, 又同一個師奶傾開教小朋友呢個topic. 我自問我好respect人地點教佢地個小朋友. 我未必會認同, 不過我唔會話要佢改變佢個方式. 呢個世界無一個一套至完美既教小朋友方法. 每個小朋友都係獨一無二, 教既方法亦都唔同. 而教小朋友乜野係啱定係錯, 亦都只係全憑父母既教育知識. 我會教我個小朋友同性戀並唔係罪, 亦唔犯法. 現今社會未必人人都認同, 但係呢個係我個believe, 亦唔需要人地去認同. 我只可以教我個小朋友呢個世界係會有人反對你既想法, 要耐心去對待每一個人. 唔可以強逼人地要同意你. 但可以用理由去解釋點解你會覺得呢樣係啱, 等人地自己去諗. 今日呢個師奶, 佢一路都覺得我反對政府立例同性戀唔可以結婚係因為我未有小朋友, 針唔吉到肉唔知痛. 佢地個思想好狹窄. 佢今日同我講, 佢話舊年佢同幾個朋友 (另外一對夫婦係基督徒) 祈禱話希望我將來會有小朋友, 然後我就會改變我個思想. (當然係會好似佢地咁反對同性戀結婚, 覺得同性戀係一個不道德既風氣, 佢地先係神既兒女... 而政府應該根據majority既意願去立例discriminate同性戀者) 我好直接話呢個思想我係永遠都唔會改變. 因為佢地根本都唔明我個立場. 我話我個believe係同性戀無問題, 就算我個小朋友將來係同性戀者, 我都唔會干預. 我反對立例係因為政府double standard. 男同女可以結婚, 但係同性就唔可以. 就好似政府立例話偷野食就得, 偷錢就唔得. 又或者白鬼可以搭巴士, 但係黑鬼唔可以. 但係同師奶講野, 係唔可以講理由. 就等於同一個無文化既人講藝術... 我今次無勞氣. 我仲不經意地話佢地呢種人係好膚淺. 不過都唔知佢會唔會明...

但係我自問從來都唔會去干預人地點樣教仔, 又或者批評佢既諗法係絕對錯. 我亦都好憎人話你未做阿媽你係唔會明. 我相信做咗阿媽係有一定既影響, 但係我亦都係一個有知識既人, 我唔會要求人地去改變黎遷就我教仔既方法. 我會去教我小朋友去分辨乜野係啱乜野係錯, 社會有好多野都唔係可以自己控制得到. 而且一樣米養百樣人, 唔可以話全世界都同你一樣諗法.

我不犯人, 亦希望人不犯我. 大家唔駛幫我祈禱. 我唔需要你幫...

Who do they think they are?

So I understand that as a first time mom there are a lot of things that I need to "learn" from past experiences from other moms. I welcome anyone who's willing to share how miserable their life was for the first few months, how much trouble their babies have, etc... however, I don't like them telling me what MY experience will be when my baby comes, and that I won't be able to carry out MY PLANS as I was hoping to. Just because they were unable to let their babies cry for more than 2 seconds doesn't mean I will do exactly the same. I have a different personality than them as well as different approach on how I am going to handle my baby situation. I might end up be the same just like ALL the other moms they were referring to, but I don't like people telling me that my way will not work.

I also would like to stand by my plan to have my mother-in-law to help me out during the first few months. I will try to control my hormone as well as I could and will be a grateful daughter-in-law who appreciates any help she could get. Even though she might not be a professional doula, but I would trust her than a stranger that gets pay for the job.

Also that I have faith that my husband will be a good father. He will feel the same pain as I feel when the baby hits the head on the floor, he will care about the baby's well being just like I do. Just because their husbands are idiots doesn't mean my husband is one as well.

I need to stop talking to people who thinks they know it all just because they have had babies before!

Odds

So after the NT screening, I had my first blood drawn checking for birth defects. I got a call back from the clinic today telling me that the odds for my baby to have Downs are 1 in 2500 (which is good consider with my age it's 1 in 381, that's a big improvement). And the odds for the baby to have Trisomy 18 defect is 1 in 10000. She said that it's the lowest risk factor they give out. I'll have to have a second blood drawn in a few weeks to check for some other chemicals in it to get a higher accuracy. But so far the odds are looking pretty good.

NT screening

Another ultrasound!

I'm about 13 weeks along and it's about time to do an NT screening for Downs and some other possible birth defect.

The ultrasound went well, I was lying there for about 10-15 minutes where the tech is taking all kinds of pictures. My hubby can see everything on the monitor but I'm not facing it, so can't see a single thing. He was making funny faces and stupid gestures while the tech was doing the scanning. At one point he was pretending to be the baby and making rock n' roll hand signals! Yeah Right! Well, maybe my baby will be a guitar hero someday playing in a rock band! ^.^

In the end the tech finally let me see the monitor and there I saw a semi-human form thing in there bouncing and flexing both hands. At one point I thought it reminds me of the tiny little baby sea turtles I saw at the Aquarium. Bouncing around in the water having so much fun. I'm just glad that this tiny thing in me is growing like it should be, and we saw the heart beating again and things look "great" according to the doctor. I'll take it at face value and no more questions! :)

UltraSound

I've been seeing some light spotting, and called my doc. She made me go have an ultrasound done just to see what's going on.

I had to drink 4 glasses of water before that. By the time I finished my second glass, I'm about to throw up. Have to slowly finish my last two glasses. By the time I got to the clinic, my bladder is about to explode. Turns out, my bladder is too full to do an ultrasound.... WTF!!

The worst is that I have to empty just half of it (how the hell would I know what's half?) before they can do the ultrasound. And the nurse told me I only need to drink 2 glasses next time! >_<""

We saw the heart beating!

And they said I have a very small amount of subchorionic hematoma, which they are not sure why, but it's no big deal! That's the reason why I'm seeing some small amount of blood... and those that are in there, will eventually be absorbed by the body.

Well, at least they told me things look "normal".... whatever that means!

First Appointment

So this is real. At least that's what the nurse said when she took my pee sample for another test.

Got some blood drawn for tests and got a lot of free samples of prenatal vitamins. Gotta try different one out...

I also started gagging a lot 2 days ago... at least no throwing up yet.

So anxious

My first appointment will be next Wednesday (1/14). I've not been experiencing a lot of symptoms other than the stupid sore boobs! Good that I wasn't feeling nauseous, but sometime it's just hard to walk by the breakroom when people are heating up their lunch... especially with fish! Cigarettes smell are also making me sick.

Sometimes I wonder if there's really something there, or I'm just imagining it? Too bad I won't be getting an ultra sound until at least a month later probably.... hope we'll see a heartbeat!

It's so hard to keep it as a secret. It's been more than a week since I found out. I so wanted to tell my parents but I don't want to get their hopes up and then disappoint them when this little thing doesn't stick. The best is just to wait til it's stable... it'll be a very tough 6 weeks to go...

A new beginning

Just came back from a nice Cancun vacation during x'mas. It's NYE tonight and we are heading to DV's house party just as we did in the last few years... It's always nice to hang out there.

Something that I'm expecting during the Cancun trip didn't come... good or bad sign?

Woke up early in the morning even though we arrived back home very late last night (or early this morning I should say...) Something doesn't feel right.

I've got one last stick, I'd better check it before I start drinking heavily tonight...

I realized my eye sight is extremely bad without glasses.

I've got a feeling about it even though I can't see clearly. SY was checking up on me about what took me so long in the bathroom.

I told him I'm pregnant... He said congratulations! Yeah, that's the one I love so much, always so funny.

Crap, now what excuse can I use for not drinking tonight? It'll be so obvious.... dammit!

It's been a very long time that we've been expecting this to happen. And I'm glad that I found out before the new year is about to start! :) A great beginning.

I hope you stick, little bean.

unsettled

今日好似乜都做唔到, 其實都幾日係咁. 返到公司, 一大堆會要開, 又無謂, 但又要開. 忙忙碌碌無時間做要做既野. 到有時間靜落黎, 個心又好唔settle, 好唔專心. 想搵人講下野, 但係其實又無乜特別野想講, 就連surf web都唔係好知surf乜野好. 做乜都唔專心.

諗起仲有一個多月就返香港同去泰國心情都好興奮. 但係感覺好似都仲有好耐先到. 聖誔禮物又未買晒, 其實又唔係好想去買, 因為人又多, 泊得車黎仲要行去搵合適既禮物實在好麻煩. 跟住一抽二lung咁又要同人逼. 所以到而家都只係買左兩份, 仲有三份未買齊. 真係頭痛! 跟住諗起聖誔仲要應酬d親朋戚友都好悶. 所以最look forward既係new year's eve. 同過往兩年一樣我地都會去個朋友屋企到, 通常佢都有五六七八十個人晌度開扖地, 好熱鬧. 同埋同d朋友吹吹水又幾開心... 所以每年都好期待呢個日子!